1) Descriptive:
The clock was close to tick three in the morning, the deepest hour of the night, but Jessica Martinez didn’t care. She was fatigued after completing hours of homework, but she knew it was the perfect time to spill a few words of pure freestyle and compose a new ear-catching rap.
“They’re honest. I am too tired to put effort into anything. So they are just completely feelings.” She explains as she gives off a chuckle and looks down at her fingers. Jessica began writing her own raps since she was in middle school, and now a junior at LASA high school, she continues to do so.
Every couple of days or weeks a new pack of rhymes and words would hit her at any time of day and Jessica would infatuate herself with them until the wee hours of the morning.
2) Narrative:
A petite girl bobbed her head as the words spilled out of her mouth in complete harmony and style. Jessica Martinez was practicing the verses to the new rap she would be performing at her school’s musical event. As she swayed her hands around in swift motions you could feel the dedication she felt for rapping radiating off of her.
“When you get the rush man, especially with hip hop it’s just this adrenaline. A really empowering feeling.” Jessica says as a smile plays on her lips. Although it would be one of her first times performing her own rap lyrics, Jessica couldn't help but feel secure with herself and her song.
3) Twist?
It was a typical day in the class of physics for Jessica Martinez, a junior at LASA high school. She was writing vigorously in her notebook as the teacher continued to lecture. “And so the ball would move because...”
She had done this millions of times, it was like a craving that couldn’t be ignored. She swiftly moves her pencil across the page as a new verse for her latest rap forms in her head.
“[When I get an idea for a song] I act on it immediately,” Jessica says. “ If I’m flowing then I’m flowing.”
Jessica then re-reads the lyrics she wrote and edits her work until it is seen as perfection in her eyes.
These are all good! I really like the first and third leads, but I think on the third you should take off the last sentence because it just isn't as interesting as the rest. For the second, it would be a lot better if it was in present tense.
-Clyde
Favourites are one and two, though I don't know about your use of "infatuates" in one. I also agree with Clyde--present tense would be better--but for both. Or maybe I just like present tense for articles.
Also, love this keyboard. If you have a different keyboard tomorrow, it will be because I stole it.
--IBI
The first one is my favorite. I like how you begin with a topic (homework) that your audience can relate to and then start talking about your subject.
~ OMO
I really like the first one. It just flows well.
- EJE
1st one. The beginning paragraph sets it and then second paragraph explains which was good.
-Yahir
I like number 1
Feels more connected than all the other leads and has good description. For the third one the physics lecture feels out of place and somewhat distracting.
daniel
One is the best, but make sure to watch your grammar. The quote is perfectly integrated and it just feels solid. It's easily the best here.
-ishaan
These leads are all pretty great. I probably like the second one the best, one they all work. Some could be edited for flow, but that's minor.
--
Quaver from Aux Cable (AS)
I like the first one, too, because I immediately wondered what Jess would love so much to stay up until the wee hours of the morning to work.
I like the third one, because its simple and easy to understand. The other ones I was like "uuugguhiekqawnpk" because I'm unable to function properly right now (:
<3 Nat Attack
I like the first one the most. I think it's the most intriguing...
-Fly on the Wall